Dear Mrs. Ort, עמו׳ש
Sometimes, people are traveling a contain road, and they suddenly look around and realize they've been heading in the wrong direction. They’re not where they wanted to go, but rather they are getting further from their destination. It happens on the highway driving seventy miles an hour on the eastbound road when you need to go west. It also happens in life.
So, what do you do then? You've invested time, effort and fuel in getting to this point, but it's neither wise nor productive to keep going in the same diction.
Yes, we really are working to help move everyone in the right direction. Is it the one you have pursued all these years? It cannot be. True, it has brought in much money, but can money compensate for the pain, embarrassment, and disastrous affects on the children?
You may blame it all on your former husband and the campaign on his behalf to bring the matter to Bais Din. Realize however that as sure as you may be of your position, he is of his, and with all the Rabbonim supporting him, the campaign will continue. It's like saying that the roof wouldn't be leaking if it wouldn't be raining… it is raining, it will continue to rain and therefore a logical person realizes that if she doesn't wish to continue to get wet, repairs must be made.
Over the twenty plus years that you were happily married to your former husband, you also lived your life as a fine respected woman in the community. This had initially caused many of the people that know you to assume that your position had some basis. Now, further down the road, we see a list of virtually every name revered by Bnei Torah in America plus all the Gedolei Hador שליטא in Eretz Yisroel who guide Klal Yisroel, all denouncing your behavior and siding with your former husband. Even the Roshei Yeshiva of Lakewood, where you reside, have openly sided with him, as he asks only for a chance to be heard in Bais Din. Realize the inherent weakness of your position in people's eyes. If you really are right, why are you afraid to demonstrate it to a Bais Din? Now people are caught between their respect for the Manya Ort that they knew and trusted vs. the Gedolim whose judgements they revere. Isn't it self-understood that any objective person will accept the unbiased words of all the Gedolei Hador as to who is right?
True, the strategy of summoning your former husband to ערכאות rather than heeding his הזמנה לדין has accomplished its objective. Anyone viewing the documentation on display at EmesVShalom.com can see that you have obtained and liquidated his entire parental inheritance of over 11 million dollars. But is that worth carrying the name of someone who exchanged a happy family for money?
And what about the children? You surely recall those wonderful days when all the children were learning well, models of happy children with Middos Tovos. And now? The antipathy towards their father to which the children have been exposed has spilled over to the Gedolei Hador supporting him, and the Torah which they represent. This exposure has exacted its natural toll on them. Your friends are busy preparing a shalom zachor or kiddish for eineklach, while you are left with seven unmarried children scattered all over, holding far from shidduchim. Undoubtedly, had someone depicted the current scenario to you twenty years ago and asked you: “Is this worth it, in return for what you have gained?”, the answer would have been a horrified “no!”.
So you see this road has not gotten you to where you hoped it would. Further along this direction lies only more publicity, more aggravation, more isolation. We urge you to take a good hard look at yourself - from your own vantage point - and see where you are. Of course, your “advisors” will urge you to just “sit tight”. Why not? They can enjoy feeling that they “won the fight” without suffering the consequences on their names or their children’s situations. You however, are the only one who can evaluate which course is best for yourself. Chazal have warned us: “Beware of those who advise you according to their own interest” (Sanhedrin 76B)
You and your former husband were always known as an independent minded couple who raised their family in the way they saw as best for them, al pi hadracha of Gedolei Torah. The result was a happy marriage with happy children that were a pride to the whole community. We urge you to look at the current situation with the same independent mind.
That is why we call ourselves the "True Friends of the Ort Family". It may seem hard, at this late point in the game to do the right thing and either make a settlement or come to a Din Torah. We believe that, in the final analysis, it's harder not to.
Think it over. Yourself. Because your future is the one at stake.
Sincerely,
The True Friends of the Ort Family